The Thrilling Adventures Of The Idiot Trio

This story begins within a land inspired by Dungeons and Dragons.

A land where magic is real, and there are more than just humans.

So, what happens when a chaotic aarakocra, a tiefling raging with fire, and a kobold hellbent on making the lives of those he loves miserable, get together?

Chaos.

Complete and utter


Chaos




———




Hex ……………. @Skye

Griyis …………. @Checkmate

Moriarty …….. @Soapster

( WHEEZE )

A ways down the road in the village, a bit of a commotion was heard in a pub.

Loud crashes and yelling were heard. Griyis was thrown out by a very strong barbarian that she was fighting. The 7 foot tall Aussie crashed into a brick building that was a small store on the opposite end. The entire building was demolished in seconds—well at least the front half.

Bricks fell on to her forehead causing her to grunt. She laughed full heartedly and got back up, her trench coat floating behind her as her tail slithered back up into a curling position.

Griyis rolled her shoulders and cracked her neck from side to side, grinning a toothy fashion. Only to bend backwards as a loud pop was heard. She wasn’t phased, she had a few scratches though.

“ HAHAHAA! Oh Mate that was a good one! Cmon now lad thats not all that you got is it? I was just getting warmed up! “ Griyis taunted, her tone cheerful. Her Australian accent thick and deep.

The 6 foot tall Barbarian was seen at the threshold of the doof way, he had loads of tattoos and a big puffy beard. He gave Griyis a death glare in which she didn’t flinch.

The barbarian snarled.

“ IM GONNA KILL YA YOU DEVIL. “ The Barbarian roared. He was in a beserker stage.

Griyis heard that name…. ‘ Devil ‘ and her eyes narrowed. It hit a button.

“ Now now mate, let’s not push too far shall we? You sure you don’t wanna rethink those words? “ Griyis said. Her Tone Passive aggressive.

The barbarian ignored her completely.

“ THATS WHAT YOU ARE AINT YA? A DEVIL?! IMMA SEND YOUR RED ASS BACK TO HELL YOU BLOODY DEMON! “ The barbarian roared.

Griyis narrowed her Eyes further and her Horns caught fire. Only for her to then Crouch into a battle Ready stance, her tail curving up and raising in the air as it pointed at the man.

“ Aight, now you done it ya bastard. “ Griyis snarled.

However, she stopped and looked to the side hearing a tiny scream. Only to see a kobold running for dear life in the distance. Her eyes widened.

“ why I’ll be—-“ Griyis Said in Shock.

Wonder whats got Him spooked—-

[Visual reference for Hex]:

Hex, meanwhile, was fast asleep in her little "nest", a treehouse decorated with all sorts of trinkets she'd scavenged from her kills and bounties.

She was curled up in a tight blue ball, snoring softly. Her talons twitched every now and then, but for the most part, she was perfectly calm. A rare sight.

Griyis spotted the kobold run off into the alley way, her ears perking up in concern and curiosity.

Poor fellas gonna get himself crushed!

She then saw the tiny kobold dash off into the alley way. Concern seen clear as day on her red features. The fire died off on her horns and she immediately started to head over to the kobold, only to be grabbed around the waist by the giant barbarian and to be lifted up.

The barbarian let out a battle cry like laugh of triumph, his teeth sharp.

Griyis struggled against his restraints, yelling as her tail lashed about.

Then, all of a sudden, the barbarian angled the both of them towards Hex’s tree and then charged them both forward, looking like a freight train.

The barbarian laughed menacingly, his voice booming.

Griyis closed her eyes and prepared herself for impact.

“ DIE YA DEVIL “ The Barbarian battle cried.

Then- he smashed Griyis head first harshly into the tree that Hex’s house was in.

Griyis’s horns being stuck into the bark, her head hurting as she let out a pained cry. Only to feel the barbarian let go, but he had a firm grip at the back of her head. He just sneered, and yanked her head back, causing her to wince only for her head to be smashed in full force yet again against Hex’s tree.

Hex awoke, feathers scattering.

Her head whipped in a few different directions as she tried to orient herself.

"Heck."

She blinked a few times before peeking over the edge of her treehouse nest, trying to find the source of the noise. After noticing the barbarian and his target, her eyes pinned in anger.

"HEY!" she screeched, feathers bristling. "YOU MADE A MESS OF MY SHINIES; WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA, HUH?!"

( WHEEEZE GOD THIS IS CHAOS—)

The Barbarian heard Hex and looked up after yanking Griyis’s head back, he had a fist full of her black hair.

The tiefling in return had a horrible headache and looked to be near unconscious.

The barbarian snorted at the bird like human being or more precisely, aarakocra.

“ YA SHINIES WILL BE FINE YA BIRD BRAIN. JUST DEALING WITH A PEST. “ Then—he heard the kobold laughing, he turned his attention to him.

He sneered and grinned at the laughter. The joke actually made him laugh too. Then—he saw the kobold inhale one of Hex’s feathers only to burst out laughing.

His laugh was booming as he pointed at the tiny creature.

Griyis, upon hearing this, her eyes snapped open and her horns caught fire. Her pupils shrunk.

She was pissed now.

Her tail then lashed up, grabbed the barbarian by his neck tightly, causing him to choke along with Morarity.

Then, in one swift movement, she yanked him down hard by her tail and did a spinning round house kick to his head.

This caused the barbarian to be knocked out cold with a pained groan.

“ That’ll teach ya to fuck with me!” She snapped as her tail let go of the barbarians neck. Her ears were pinned back for a second, she was still disorientated and in pain.

The fire shut off as she looked up at Hex, only to raise her right arm to help propel her voice.

“ Sorry about your house love! “ Griyis apologized, her tone genuine.

Her ears flicked at the sound of—choking?

oh cmon mate—

( As it should be, ofc! >:3 )

Hex did a few fancy acrobatics and climbed out on a branch, talons digging into the bark and keeping her steady.

She aimed one of her clunky weapons-- some kind of crossbow-- right between the large barbarian's eyes. She figured he was the one who started it.

"STEP AWAAAAY FROM THE TREE, BUCKO!" Hex squeaked, feathers bristling. "OR IMMA PUT TWO BOLTS WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE!"

( YEEE NEHE, AND B R U H OH MY FREAKING GOD IM DEAD WHEEEZE I LOVE MORIS POST )

Griyis whipped her head around towards Moriarty, her eyes wide with horror at what the kobold just said.. her pointy red ears folded back.

“ OI! FOR YOUR INFORMATION PINT SIZED ITS JUST A TERM I USE! I AINT NEVA SEEN THAT BLUE FEATHERED BLOKE IN MY LIFE! “ Griyis yelled.

Her face was red by now, but it was thankfully masked by her naturally red skin.

Then her attention returned to Hex. She noticed the bird woman had a bow and arrow of somekind. She looked back at the barbarian who began to come around, he groaned a bit as he stood up.

“ Uh—Mate, the man’s out cold—i think your trees good. If not I’ll send him squealin. “ Griyis huffed. She then eyed Mori.

“ Oi, pint sized, how bout you put yourself ta use and help me out here? “ Griyis asked.

( PFFTT )

Hex froze, blinking a few times as she processed.

"He was twitching! I thought..." she exclaimed, trying to defend herself and pretend she knew what she was doing. She lowered the crossbow. "Eh, whatever. Don't touch ANYTHING, I'M COMIN' DOWN!"

The periwinkle birdwoman clambered down the tree, using her beak and talons to aid her.

"No touchy. Just grabbing my shinies and carrying them back to my tree," she harrumphed.

( OH HE CHOSE DEATH LMFAO-)

Griyis flicked her ears to acknowledge Hex.

“ Noted “ she said to the bird woman she kept an eye on the barbarian and the kobold. Then—she spotted Morarity do the kobold equivalent of a middle finger and her ears went back.

“ Ohh you little buggar—“ She started, her tone dark. Only to go wide eyed at the kobold eating one of Hex’s shinies.

Even she knew that was a dumb move. And she wasn’t the brightest.

“ ARE FUCKIN KIDDING ME MATE—“ Griyis shrieked.

Never mess with a birds shinies.

( Hex:
*sudden deep booming voice*
So you have chosen death. )

Hex's eyes pinned-- her pupils were practically invisible now, flecks in a void of white.

She let out a concussive KYEAH-KYEAH of a screech before swooping down at the kobold, talons outstretched like some kind of hunting raptor.

She landed, somersaulted, then fired a single bolt from her crossbow.

"GET AWAYYYY!" she hissed.

( WHEEEZE, GOD I LOVE THIS )

Griyis watched the entire thing happen and was powerless to stop it.

Her eyes widened and she got into a defensive crouch. Her red tiefling ears were pinned back. She saw the arrow hit the tiny Kobold in the chest and immediately grew worried.

Upon see him sit back up, she crouched and did a slinky yet smooth run on all fours towards him.

It was quick and agile, her Devil like tail swaying smoothly behind her, looking like some form a cat as she ran. Then she stopped beside him and crouched near him.

She shrugged the insult aside. Her yellow eyes now worried.

“ You okay? “ she asked, now rather concerned for the poor thing. She then shot Hex a glare.

“ YOU COULDVE KILLED HIM “ Griyis suddenly snapped. Her eyes filled with anger as her horns caught fire once more.

"He touched my shinies," Hex snapped, grabbing the pebble and cleaning the kobold's spit off of it. "He asked for it."

She shook herself, feathers fluffing for a moment.

Then she gathered her things, and began to climb back up the tree, not looking back.

"Don't mess with my stuff and nobody gets hurt!"

Griyis snorted at Moriaritys comments and stood back up. At least he was okay. Though she caught the devilish glint in his eyes, her own widened.

Oh no you don’t you little buggar!

“ Good ta hear. “ she giggled, then she eyed Hex again.

“ I understand—but it still doesn’t warrant death. “ she stated.

Annnnndddd to keep Mori from stealing anything, she quickly bent down and scooped Mori up in one hand. Having a firm hold on him.

“ Alright, now to keep you from dying and to keep her from flipping out. You’re coming with me. “ Griyis said.

She made sure to not have too much of a tight hold on Mori though.

Then—an idea popped up.

“ Actually hang on a minute—uh, you fancy a drink love? Both a ye? I know drinks are a way to calm everyone down. “ Griyis offered to both Hex and Mori.

Hex's eyes pinned, and she furrowed her brow as she stared down the tiefling.

She glared at her for a solid ten seconds before finally loosening up and nodding.

"Eh, sure, why not," Hex shrugged, climbing back down.

"You buyin'?" she remarked, beak clamping down on a nearby branch.

( WHEEEEZE HELP—)

Griyis had to put a hand over her mouth to keep herself from laughing at Moriarty. Her cheeks puffing just a tad bit as she did her best to hold it in. The insults just bounced off of her, they weren’t as bad as what she’s been dealt with in the past.

And the fact that he calmed down in a split second at the mention of Alcohol. It was just too funny.

Though she had to be honest—papercuts sounded horrible and the thought of this tiny demon somehow finding where she lived actually scared her a bit.

She felt Hex’s glare at the back her head, it never left. It sent chills down her neck. That bird did know how to scare too—

Griyis cleared her throat and took a moment to calm down. Remaining as cheerful as ever.

“ Yeah I’m buying, don’t worry I’ve got a few shillings in my pocket. It’ll hold for a good few drinks! “ Griyis directed her voice to both Hex and Mori.

Looking up at the blue bird first then she rolled her eyes as she looked down at Mori.

“ Oh pipe down pint sized! This is just precautionary measures so you don’t tick of ticking time bomb over there. “ Griyis said as she gestured to Hex.

She didn’t want any trouble amongst any of them.

( LORD HE'S GON GIVE HEX A RUN FOR HER MONEY WITH THE UNSETTLING THREATS LOL )

"Yaaay!" Hex cheered, landing on the ground.

She threw her arms in the air before shaking herself, a bit of dust and blue fluff falling from her feathers. "Sounds delightful! Let's GOOO!"

She grabbed her travel bag and marched off. "Lead the way, red lady!"